Blue Jasmine

If you are looking for a dismal movie, look no further than this.  The audience laughed and applauded a few times but no more than that.  And by the end of the movie, no one was laughing.

This story follows two adopted sisters in their late thirties.  Jasmine had a rich husband who ended up killing himself in a prison cell.  The government acquires all of their wealth leaving the older sibling with only her sister in San Francisco for help.  She's used to having everything handed to her and screws her sister over in some flashback scenes.  The other sister, Ginger, on the other hand, is very meek and feels that she got the bad genes in the family which is why she dates the guys she dates and lives the way she lives.  Jasmine does little to make her feel like the guys she dates aren't total losers.  She doesn't see that the man in front of her face is the man for her--this after a fling with a married guy played by C.K. Louis.  She does love her boyfriend.  In the end, it is the two of them playing cutesy together on the couch while her sister takes a shower and heads for the street.  She sits on a park bench and mumbles to herself with her hair still wet.  The woman next to her leaves, perturbed.  It seems probable she'll end up in a hospital.

We're never actually rooting for Jasmine  She's too devious.  She's obviously abandoned by her sister.  We still hope she gets better.  We pray she doesn't get worse, that she recovers.  But she's been through so much hell.  How destructive losing a cheating husband who kills himself and having the government take everything you owned.  She got more beat up than a boxer.  But it's bruises on the insides.  And she's down for the count.

Kick Ass 2

Kick Ass 2 just came out.  We saw it with 5 or six other couples at the Esquire in St. Louis.  Not a big showing for its first week, but i kind of like it that way.

Kick Ass 2 stars the same two characters as the first one.  This time, one named red mist is out to seek revenge on Kick Ass for the death of his father in the first Kick Ass.  He's changed his name to Motherfucker after killing his mom in a tanning bed.  Later, in a scene at a prison, Motherfucker confronts his mafioso uncle who slits his guardian's throat over the phone.  That is enough to transform red mist into the motherfucker supervillain

Meanwhile, Hit Girl is getting phased out of her superhero status by her guardian to try and be a normal girl with other normal girls.  This doesn't work out well for her.  The cool kids pick on her and she suffers for it.  Still, she can't seem to betray her guardian and try to live a normal life.  She's a special girl.  Her father, the original super hero, trained her to be a walking, hitting machine.  So she feels like she's been betraying her father.  Plus, kick ass can't get her to rejoin the fighting ranks.

This movie is fairly gory.  Throats slit, glass jabbing, shark attack.  The final scenes of this movie make it all worth watching.  Also, there are a couple of good sized tits in one scene.  This movie, making it a rated R was a really good choice.  Had it not for all the boobies and violence, i probably would have just passed it.

I give this movie 3 out of 5 stars.

I don't recommend

I don't recommend going to Firestone to get your car fixed.  It costs a bundle and they'll probably do a shitty job and take cover it by offering you free oil  change next time instead of the gas that you actually need due to their mistake.  Man.  Shitty.

Top Six Movies 2012 (thus far)

My top six movies this year in no particular order are:

The Avengers
Wrath of the Titans
Moonrise Kingdom
Safety Not Guaranteed
Lawless
Seven Psychopaths

See any and all of these.  The avengers made 2 and 1/2 hours seem like fifteen minutes.  And any frame that The Hulk was in was worth the watch.

Wrath of the Titans is in the same boat as The Avengers;  Fast paced, lots of action, amazing special effects.  A grand old time.

Moonrise Kingdom was simply magical.  And you could expect nothing less from Wes Anderson.  Quirky to a fault, funny, rich with the power of pathos.

Safety Not Guaranteed:  A sweet romantic comedy with a time machine.  Worth it.

Lawless--Falls into the same category as Bonnie and Clyde with a clever if not out right cute ending.  Awesome for appreciators of actions with some blood.

Seven Psychopaths:  Not just entertaining, but funny.  Chistopher Walken takes the cake.  From the director of In Bruges, anothier awesome movie but from years ago.

Getting Back At Big Companies

Verizon Wireless


You know who sucks?  Cell phone companies suck.  They've spied on their customers, they have outrageous fees for cancellation, the plans suck (that is, you either spend more money for minutes you don't use, or you get a plan where you end up going over every month).  The list goes on.

One thing i've realized is that if you elect to rate the customer service you've received on a call you've made to get some help from their cell phone company, you can use the opportunity to get back at the whole company.  To do this, first give very low marks for the customer service.  They may have answered all of your questions, but that doesn't you like the company's policy.  Later, someone from the company will call you back and ask you what the problem was.   This is your chance to vent about all the miserable fees, the shitty plans, and the spying.  Furthermore, once enough people do this, the company will no longer be able to boast, 'best in customer service.  The only reason they qualify in the first place is because the agent isn't responsible for the bad plans, etc.  But fuck them.  And fuck the whole company.  They're experts at ripping us off and cheating our privacy.  If you gotta use some cog to get the point across, do it.  

Netflix

Netflix is a company that will ask you when you sent back your last dvd.  If you answer the earliest possible date listed, instead of the date you actually sent it, you may end up with an extra dvd a week they will send to placate you for the 'late' service.

There's your homework.  Thanks for reading.

Albert Goldbarth Quote

"Is it going to be important to poetry in the future?  It will be important to everything in the future.  Your grandchildren will wake up in the morning to the sound of the computer screen, the computer screen will lead them into their breakfast, will lead them into and become the entirety of their jobs where they will sit facing that screen that has the approval of the government and of the advertising industry behind it.  They will be there for their 8-hour day--their personal lives, their sex lives, their parental lives will all occur on and through that screen.  They will come home, they will watch that screen for government and advertising-world-approved entertainment, they will fall asleep again.  Will that computer be important to poetry and art in general? Oh yes--But it won't be my poetry.  It won't be anything that i care about and i imagine i won't be here to see the full fruition of that vision." --Albert Goldbarth

Untitled I

"This world...  Goddamn this world," he thought, his hands locked, thumbs pressing against his eyes.  "If i was on the other side, i might not think this."

Bored, he lit up the runt of a smoke he'd just moments ago stamped into extinguish.  It wouldn't do him any good.  But he was trying to thwart something--change, probably, he thought.  "The devil is laughing at me."

It was a week ago, but the notion still burned.  Some professional linguist, Steve's tart, had stated flatly that poetry was, "Just words".  He thought of his life, his efforts.  Surely, she was full of shit.  Surely words had a terrific power; some shattered lives could suture, some steady could come unhinged.

Or more! he surmised.  Think, think, think, think, think.... He said to himself as he rapped his forehead with his knuckles.  The room began to spin.  He could feel the thick darkness gyrating around him.  He was sinking.  He needed something; help, another smoke, some sleep.  He tried but he could not think.